My mom and I have always had a strained relationship. Growing up, she was always so horribly uncool. When I turned 18 and moved out, I rebelled in any way possible, in many ways that she doesn't (and never will) know about. Now that I'm older, she's no longer horribly uncool, but our relationship is still strained. We disagree on a lot of things. My mom is very punctual, where as I'm more relaxed about my schedule (On time is when I get there). My mom is organized, to the point where she's probably OCD. I'm a slob. She makes lists of things to get done. I remember a couple months after the fact "Oh yeah, I was going to do that". We get along, and our personalities do mesh fairly well, but there's still that underlying feeling that she doesn't like something about me. I've never figured out if it was my personality, or my behavior, or my decisions. I'm a lot more goofy and outgoing than she is. She's very controlled and precise. I don't worry about embarrassing myself. She's always worried about what people think of her. I'm a free spirit, and she's always defined herself with schedules and tasks and things to do.
There is one thing that I know for sure. She doesn't like my faith. She frowns upon my beliefs. My mother was raised in a Catholic home, and while I was growing up, we were Christmas-and-Easter Catholics. I went to Catholic school for kindergarten-4th grade, at which point I switched to public schools (tuition costs), but I still went every Wednesday night to CCD. When I was very young, my mom taught me to say my prayers every night:
"Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
Then she taught me to pray for the people I wanted God to bless. I'd say, "God bless Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa..." and so on. One night, when I was about 4, I said my prayer and ended with "God bless Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa and Mickey Mouse". She yelled and told me I couldn't pray for Mickey Mouse because he wasn't real. That was the last time I said bedtime prayers.
In high school, I started to drift away from the Catholic church. The more I found myself exploring Christianity, the more I disagreed with Catholic teachings. My friends would invite me to their churches, and my mom always said I couldn't go. I did go to youth group with one of my friends a few times, but my mom wouldn't let me attend their Sunday service. She said there was no reason for me to go. "They teach weird things," was always her answer. My mom didn't even like me thinking about other denominations. I was frustrated, but I obeyed her wishes. When I turned 16 and got a car, I frequently had the option between going to Friday night Bible study, or driving around town unsupervised with my rowdy friends. My mom would usually encourage me to go out with the rowdy friends.
Over the past several years, I've been to many churches, explored many denominations, and a couple times, even thought about going back to the Catholic church. I eventually just decided that I was Christian with no denomination, because I didn't agree fully with any of them. As my husband and I were preparing for our wedding, I knew we'd have to find a church that we agreed on . I tried taking him to some evangelical churches, but he hated them, and I didn't want him to hate going. The pastor that performed our wedding recommended the church we now go to, and even though it is Lutheran, I really like it.
My mom hates hearing about how much I like it there. If I even make mention of going to church, she either ignores me or changes the subject. She won't talk about it with me. She seems really angry with me for being a non-Catholic Christian. When we were playing Trivial Pursuit a couple weeks ago, she got a question along the lines of "Where can you find 'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want'?" She didn't know, and I stated "Psalm 23". She glared at me and said, "Well, you obviously didn't learn that in CCD, so why would I know that?" Each of those words stung. This past Sunday, my parents were in town, and my mom was telling us how they found themselves with nothing to do late Sunday morning, to which Brian replied, "Oh, you could've come to church with us". That's the first time I've ever seen my mom glare at him like that.
I guess I posted this because I need to unload about it. I'm really frustrated that my mom is treating me like this. Most parents would be thrilled if their kids actually showed interest in Jesus, but my mom seems very bitter about it. Please keep her in your prayers that we can at least come to some kind of peace about this. Thanks. :)
Comments (10)
I'm just curious, this is an excellent entry...but why the yellow highlights? Italics and bold are more conventional, and the yellow makes me feel like I'm taking a college exam again. Praise Christ.
@BowDownBeforeHim - Hehe, the yellow highlights are something that I've done in my other blog for quite some time. It's my own *personal* way of enhancing a post. I don't so much like bold letters, and although I use italics from time to time, they just don't scream "me" like my highlights do. I may switch the color in the future though, as my other site has a blue background, which makes the yellow look better.
LOL @ BowDownBeforeHim -- that's the same thought I had, but never asked.
Oh, dear. I'm not sure what to say. Excellent entry, of course, but its heartbreaking. The only thing I want to do is send a *hug* and a prayer your way. It's far from hopeless though, you know. My best friend is a strong believer, but her family are all mormons. So they give her crap all the time. But we've been praying on it, and they've been starting to go to church with her, and they've been starting to "come out". Her stepdad physically beats her, and her mother ignores it, but has since stopped. It's another story, I wrote it previously but I'll end up posting it. My point is, have hope.
Anyway, I wanted to show you this entry from KOdette.
http://weblog.revelife.com/KOdette/661097965/the-missional-church.html
Hello, first off great blog by the way! :) I'll definately be praying for you because this is something that my husband and I deal with all the time with his family so I know exactly where you're coming from!
Well you know how much this has been weighing on my heart, and that I'm praying for your mom, and for you. And I hope you know that you can always unload on me if you ever need to vent. I'm guessing there are several others her who also would be happy to lend an ear.
I understand where you're coming from...kind of. My parents are your Sunday, Back-Row Baptists, and I went off to college and decided I wanted to major in children's ministry. They were livid, and told me I was throwing my life away. Long story short, we compromised on double-majoring. But they still bring it up and will still ask me if I regret getting that major. And I don't, and I know that someday God will use it. But my relationship with my parents hasn't been the same since, and moving back in with them has only made things more interesting. So yeah, I kinda know how ya feel, and if you ever need to vent about parents, I'm all ears.
My mom and I don't talk religon. She's a New Age hippie and well, I'm not. I can't imagine how much it must hurt to have your mom say and do those things. I will be praying for you. ~ L
The funny thing is, I just posted on how my parents don't like my faith either. It's definitely a hard situation because I know my mother hates the fact that I go to church and that I'm changing towards the Lord. I'll keep your mother in my prayers.
I can definitely relate to this post. When I told my dad that I was Christian and no longer Catholic he said that he was sad that I had lost my faith. With them it's either I'm Catholic or, well, Catholic.
@krista - Yep, that's exactly my mom. She thinks that Christians are weird and don't have the right beliefs. It's sad that the Catholic church feels the need to teach that as truth.